Amanda was 9 years old when she went to speak to the pastor’s wife about salvation. I had no doubt she had already asked Jesus in her heart years before, but Amanda obviously saw a need to make sure and to pray with the pastor’s wife. I tried, over the years, not to interfere or manipulate my daughter’s spiritual journey, especially when it came to her salvation. Yes, of course, church, without question, was important and an every week event, with Bible Study and children’s mid-week ministries, and even Son-Singers. But, I have seen it over and over, parents either manipulate their kids into salvation or the children “accept Jesus” to please their parents, friends, or its expected, or even just for the child’s or teen’s need to be affirmed by their church-family, and in the end, it wasn’t really for salvation. Too often, it was for the parents to feel better about their kids “being saved.” The problem is, salvation isn’t for the parent’s self-image, nor really for the child/teen’s self-image among the peer groups at church—it’s for the present life and eternal destiny of a fellow human being, who needs Christ for no other reasons but to glorify God and be made righteous—and who just happens to be their own child. I have tried my best to not put on a show for Amanda or give her churchie expectations. When it came to her spiritual life—in salvation and in growing as a Christian—I have done the hard thing, acted like a fellow sinner in need of Christ, and then, after she became a Christian, like a brother in Christ. (This is really hard to do and never really talked about at church much.) Of course I am her father, and of course I set standards and expectations as a parent, but it’s God’s job to bring our children to Christ and to empower spiritual growth. Whether right or wrong in the eyes of others, this is what I did as a Christian parent for my daughter—best I could.
I am thankful that Christ acted early in Amanda’s life. I have enjoyed spending time talking about the Bible with her. I have always shared my thoughts about my Christian worldview on many and various topics. Someday I knew she’d be off on her own, and finding a college and going (hopefully) in the Fall of 2011, enter as a freshman. So, I have attempted letting God prepare her for that best I could and hopefully not interfering too much. After we visited Crown College in MN, the college I graduated from, we shared with me that God was impressing on her that, perhaps, she’d like to go to a country that doesn’t let regular missionaries in. She even wrote a thank you note to the guy that gave the tour at Crown. She wrote in part,
Please let Dr. Bedford and Dr. Norby know that, not only did I enjoyed my time with them, learning about what to expect in their programs [the History degree and Teacher Education Degree], but also for helping me focus on my goals. In fact, Crown’s emphasis on missions and the Doctors linking their programs to potential overseas ministry and vocational possibilities actually helped me make a big decision in my walk with Christ—to live for His purpose only, determining to follow wherever that purpose leads me. One of the things I thought about after that day at Crown was how I might use a teaching degree to open possibilities in areas of the world that are closed to regular missionaries. So I am grateful for their straightforward and honest assessment regarding my goals and their degree programs. It certainly helped me to focus on what I am looking for in my college and degree choices.
I think this is real hard for a parent—letting God do this kind of directing in our young, inexperienced, yet to be adult-mature, teenager. But somehow in the midst of doing all the parenting right, I need to let God be God in my daughter. I want her to be a lawyer and then eventually the President of the United States. She even said she wanted to be President back when she was 6, 7, and 8. But now—with a little more experience under her belt, some experience making hard decisions (like the one to be involved with her unchurched and skeptical friends from high school rather than involved in a church youth group) and some good critical thinking skills—she is listening to God, looking for a college that will enable her to go and be used in places where Christians are always welcome and serve the people and Christ. As her father, why would I want anything less for my daughter and sister-in-Christ?
PS This June, Amanda has received permission to leave school a little early for a mission trip to an Indian Reservation in South Dakota. She leaves for Houston on June 10th and then drives with a team of adults and teens to South Dakota to stay and minister on an Indian reservation for about 10 days. More on this later…
Posted by Chip Anderson at 08:37 AM. Filed under: In the Margins • Church Life • Wasted Evangelism • Personal •
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