Words'nTone

It was nine school years ago that I escorted my five year old daughter to her first day of kindergarten.  She didn’t cry.  I did.  Yesterday she had a yellow cap and gown covering a nice purple dress and walked the aisle to receive her eighth grade diploma.  This time she cried.  She had made good friends.  Become well respected. And she has a hard time saying good-bye.  It was an emotional day.  I cried a little, too.  I was very proud.  The moment was wrapped with a long history: first as a single father, trying my best for my daughter; then in a blended family with three siblings for Amanda.  Nine years.  And in one moment, my daughter was now an entering High School freshman (and my stepson, as well).  Amanda had done well—a top student, well respected by her peers and teachers (One of the highest science grades ever!).  A father couldn’t ask for more.

I think the guest speaker had some wise words to share.  She was a former Ms. Connecticut, a former TV anchor, and a graduate of the same school, Multicultural Magnet, just like my two eighth graders.  She said she was voted most shy.  She told the graduates, “Don’t let the labels of others define you.” She reminded them of what she acknowledged as already known by them, that there are things in High School that will hinder their success: drugs, girls, boys, alcohol—they all shouted back to her question.  She told them that it has been proven through many studies that the one thing, the top reason that will either help them to overcome the bad obstacles that will mar them or provide the environment to allow them to hinder them—the friends who they hang out with.  I thought what she said next was pivotal: “How do you tell who your real friends are?” She said, “Do they have your best interest in mind, at heart?” She continued, “Does that boy have your best interest at heart?  How about that girl?” I have watched others over the years find out that there will be friends who will like partying with you; friends who will like that you’re pretty, or hot; friends that like having you around for money or sex or some other self-interest.  I have said to other teenagers, where will these so-called friends be when you’re not succeeding later?  The one’s you let distract you from grades and good behavior and from time well invested—will they be there to help you when it becomes tough to get into college, or worse.  I don’t have to mention worse.  Not that every 2007 graduating senior there yesterday will take that advice, but I suspect many will.  And as for my daughter, of course I pray like crazy, but I also so know how she had turned down friends and was willing to be alone because they didn’t have her best interest in mind.  And, then I saw that she made the best of friends with whom she was able to share best interests.  As she put it, “To cover each other’s back.” I know that High School and the teen years bring more reasons to pray, but I believe Amanda will—because she already has—taken Ms Connecticut’s advice to heart.  I am so proud of my daughter.

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